You won't need to understand why at that point in time, but when you do, you'll be glad why that something happened..

I guess my career direction is pretty much set in stone.. And so is my lifestyle..

In a blink of an eye, 4 months have gone by..
From the very first week after I was jobless, I told myself, "A job will come by soon. Take a chill-pill, enjoy the feeling of being relaxed. No more client-agency-industry nonsense for the very first time in 2 years.."

When the weeks of being jobless became a mth, I started to panic.. I was desperately looking for a job.. Steering away from an agency job, I started to look for marketing jobs. Having survived the agency environment and working on countless campaigns, I thought it'd be easy landing myself a marketing job. But I was SO wrong. NONE of the marketing jobs that I applied for called me back! (apart from AT, which I later realise that AT not hiring me was a blessing in disguise. I didn't like the working environment anyway..)

Gradually, my $$ was starting to deplete. The backup plan was to take up one more tuition assignment.. Just to temporarily sustain myself.. Unknowningly, my career direction started to shift from marketing to educating.. I guess it was another blessing in disguise. Till date, I can proudly say that I'm enjoying what I'm doing. According to Confucius, "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." For once in my life, I can actually proclaim that old adage.. I never thought I'd see the day.. Facing kids are better than facing nasty clients.

I also have to say that lately, I've been very blessed to be receiving countless blessings from above. I know, it's strange for me to be delving into this topic since I have never been one who talks about my religious views in public.. I've always been a Sunday Catholic.. Going to church and praying just because I've been taught to do so since young. Sure, there have been times where my faith was really strong.. But it never lasted.. But I guess the recent spate of events have really strengthened my faith. I've learnt how to be grateful with the small things in my daily life.. The food that was placed on the table, the protection that kept me safe in the day, the people whom I've met and have made a difference in my life, the opportunities that have helped my insecurities, the gifts that allow me to carry out my duites, and list goes on...

In retrospect, losing my high-paying job was a blessing in disguise (I know, this phrase has been repeated 3x alr! But it really fits the context here.. so bear with it :p). And I no longer feel sour about it :D

Lastly, a note to self: despite the greatness of my job right now, I must always bear in mind that "Life begins at theedge of your comfort zone.” I cannot get too comfortable with whatever I'm doing, lest the hunger for knowledge stops.

追债。

 

是一件很费力的事..

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It's been 1 mth and 2 weeks since my last day of work.
Staying home, looking for a job, giving tuition, doing housework, and hanging out with friends are all I ever do these days..

It was a good change for awhile.. Having not to worry abt work, not being stressed, no longer getting nonsense from everyone.. It was basically THE day that I had been looking forward to ever since the day I started working..

Then, the worry sets in.. Surviving on whatever $$ I have and have set aside for rainy days, finding the $$ when it eventually depletes, and being afraid that I'll totally degenerate just like how it happens when Alzheimer's strike (you know, being in your comfort zone for long period of time actually builds up on one's inertia).

And eventually comes to a standstill.. After applying so many jobs and not one application is successful (well, half, cos I've gotten myself a part-time), I started to let things be.. I mean, I've done my part in sending them out.. All I can do now is to wait for a chance for an intv, right?

Luckily, I still have tuitioning and a new part-time job to sustain myself.. Phew~~ But wait.. Just myself only arh..

Also, I will probably give up on Mktg and Advertising already.. Come to think of it.. It's nothing but a pile of stress.. It's like a shot of adrenaline.. One moment everything is smooth-sailing and the next, you're given a sudden shot of stress.. just because something that's not your problem crops up.. Having said that, the social environment is no doubt one of the most interesting~~ The people, the culture, the system.. lol

However, though I just said I will give up on it.. I will still send in my application to selected mktg comps.. I won't be pinning high hopes though..

Well, I guess this whole process is part and parcel of life.. I shall enjoy the moment. :D

It's been 2 weeks since I stopped working. For the first time in 2 years, I'm having a proper break.. It's been job after job over the past 2 years.. when I was done with my then current job, I had another job waiting for me.. Boy, in retrospect, it did seem crazy.. lol.

 

For the past 2 weeks, I've been meeting people whom I havent really met up with when I was busy slogging away.. The feeling of free-and-easy does feel good! The only annoying part is when my mum nags.. Anyway, I shall not bring that up..

 

With the tuition job at hand, only needing to work 2x a week, I do feel like I'm leading the life of a freelancer. Lol. Though my workload seems much simpler and easier right now.. I do feel happier too! :D

 

I used to think that all those unnecessary stress, fast paced and brainjuice draining tasks that I put myself through could make me a better person. Better in terms of problem solving, more intellectual and more accomplished. But I guess these 2 years have proven me wrong. I have to say I'm much happier now :D

 

Went for an intv last Fri. I think I did well. I really hope to get the job. Firstly, cos I know that it'll be diff to get a job in this economy.. and secondly, cos it means I can start school soon.

 

I haven't been quite excited to start school in a long time. Since the day I started working, I told myself that I will work towards getting my deg within the next 2years.. Though I'd been telling myself this, there never seemed to be a sparkle of enthusiasm.. but this time, the experience seems different. geez.

 

I'm so glad I didn't dive into my deg upon grad.. cos the course that I want to take is totally different! Given that I'll be funding my own edu, it's only wise to be really know what I really want. :D

 

Ok. that's it for now. I really need lo get some sleep! need to wake up at 9 l8r to help grandpa with some errand.

 

Till then..

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I swear I posted an entry.. But Idk why, it's not up.. Can't retrieve it either..
I shall do a summary..

1. As the title of my post implies, I have finally found what I am really interested in. It will not happen immediately, but I'm willing to spend time to nurture it. The journey will be tedious.. But I guess, this is it.. :D

2. Quoted from @TheNotebook:

"Worry about ur character and not ur reputation, because ur character is
who you are, and ur reputation is only what people think of you."

3. I know my shortcomings. Need to start working on them to fulfill point no. 3

What I'm about to say next may sound very selfish of me.. To a certain extent, yes, but at the same time, I guess it's also a pet peeve of mine..

 

I actually dislike ppl borrowing $$ from me.. I know they will return.. but then, the act of borrowing becomes a habit.. it's like an easy way out, having the "oh, not enough.. it's ok, I'll borrow first" mentality.. idk, is it just me?

 

At the age of 40+, the total take-home monthly income is less than $2000.. I don't know if I'm actually amazed - cos you've been able to sustain a family of 3 (not inclu of myself since I'm not taking allowance from you), or because there hasn't been progress since god-knows-when..

 

I've been through those dead broke days.. it was horrible.. I had to borrow, scrimp to last a few more days, etc.. it was utterly demeaning for me.. well, that was a lesson learnt.. poor budgeting and management led to my financial downfall.. I never want to go back there ever again. I must be self-sufficient, if not more than self-sufficient.

 

So I'm actually quite happy that my $$ saving plan actually worked out over the past few months.. I rmb Gurmit, my ex boss, telling me that when you make it a habit to set aside this sum of $$ every month, then you'll eventually realise that you actually don't need to spend that sum of money that you've set aside.. and that's how you save.. it makes sense..

 

That's why I'm not really happy with them borrowing $$ from me.. though they will return what they borrowed.. Because I feel that I have put in an effort to save up this sum of money, and all they do when they're broke is just to ask me for it..

 

I always believe in spending within your means.. For e.g.: if u can't afford a $3 meal, then settle for a $2.50 meal.. Stop smoking, and you'll have an extra $12, which could buy you another 3 meals (assuming each meal is $3).. The analogy goes on..

 

So, at the end of the day, am I being selfish, or is it just a pet peeve?

 

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This is no longer news but just thought it's worth mentioning abt it.. Yeap, I've been given 1mth's notice last week.. It's the 1st time in my 2 working years that I did not pass my probation.

 

Not trying to being religious here or something, but I think maybe that's my ans from God. Awhile ago, I actually asked him to give me a direction. At that time I was also thinking of throwing the letter. But I guess I didn't have the guts.. Then, this happened..

 

I knew I wasnt doing that well.. Apart from lacking the attention to detail quality, I guess my drive and passion was also slowing down by the day.. Day in day out, all I did was raise CEs, POs and invoices.. From that, I leveled up to do research.. Yay~~ But the topics were dry.. yeap, I know.. in life we're not always given a choice, so I forced myself to get the job done..

 

"Those info were good stuff.." and "Thanks Gen" made me feel appreciated but they were not enough to give me a great sense of accomplishment.. At least not what I'd gotten from my previous employment..

 

Of all the places I've worked at, I'd have to say that Y&R was the time of my employment to date. The workload was crazy, but it was fun.. I guess the people played a part..

 

Ok, enough of reminising...

 

I've actually picked up a few key learning points from this unfortunate incident too..

 

1. With micro managers as colleagues, you'll need to be kiasu and kiasi. Keep updating them with your progress no matter big or small. NEVER wait for them to question you cos if they do, it means they're already in a state of panic.. and they'll think that you don't have a sense of urgency.

 

2. Being in an agency might not really be my cup of tea after all. I've been too stubborn abt making it my destiny.. No doubt my INTEREST lies in advertising, it might not be what I'm good at afterall. Liking something and being able to do something are 2 diff issues. For e.g.: I may be an epicurean, but it does not mean I'm a good cook..

 

And part of it has got to do with my personality.. Comparing with my advertising peers, I certaintly do not have the gift of the gab.. While most suits are aggressive, I'm always seen as being soft.. And this is attributed to the fact that I somewhat am always on the lookout for ppl's welfare.. I know ppl may not give 2 hoots abt this, but I guess it's just how I was brought up to be.. "treat ppl nicely and they will reciprocate. Even if they don't at least you're not guilty of being mean."

 

Say, A has 2 jobs on hand and mine's 2nd on the list.. If he comes and tell me that he's still working on the 1st job and will only be able to give me mine 2 hours later, without any hesitation, I'd agree to it.

 

My thought process works like this: yes, I've told client I'd be sending her the stuff by xx.. but if she doesnt get the stuff by xx, would it be a major implication to both of us? If the ans is no, I'd gladly pick up the phone to buy more time from the client and give the extra time to the person working "for me"..

 

In this instance, I'm already being labelled as "not aggressive enough"

 

I guess it's also gotta do with the fact that I'm an introvert. Though I'm not an extreme, the root of it still exists within me.. When I have a point to make, I'd prefer to think through it before blurting out loud.. When I have a comment or pov, I'd ponder upon it for awhile before deciding whether or not to say it.. while I'm pondering, my extrovert counteparts have already moved on or covered my so-called potential great ideas.

 

3. The art of communication is a skill I'm still trying to grasp. When grasped, I'm very sure it will come in handy in every situation.. Sometimes, it's just about leaving that one word out from your sentence/phrase that makes a whole lot of difference to your intention.

 

For e.g.:, if I my intention was to get the PDF across to the client by today 4pm.. and I said:

 

"delivery by 4pm"...

 

That would mean:
~ the artwork will be only be ready for internal review at 4pm (hey, they kept to the 4pm timeline)
~ after everyone's 2 cents worth, which would take another hour, only is the ad ready to be sent to the client

 

Learning point from this situation: treat everyone as idiots.. write down specifically what your intentions are, though it might be duh.. it doesnt hurt to put one extra word into your sentence/phrase...

 

Yeap.. mainly these 3 thgs I guess..

 

After every closure I've been telling myself to move out from where I am.. I never did so.. I pondered for awhile but ended up in the same place.. I always relied on my experience, getting myself into a more prestigious place and a fatter pay cheque each time. But at the end of the day, it's always the case of "same shit different toilets", literally.. This time, I'm really making an effort to really move out from my comfort zone..

 

While my interest still lies in advertising, I might not necessary be in an advertising agency :D

 

Still searching for my niche.. till then..

 

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10am - 6pm : research and admin

 

Boring.

 

Is there still room for growth?

 

I don't wanna be stuck doing this for a year.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

My grandaunt passed on earlier this morning.
Though we've all been aware of her sickeness, but this news still came as a shock.
She overcame the 1st operation and was recovering well.. then came along the 2nd bout of sickness.
Again, she survived the 2nd.. Then, the 3rd bout of sickness came along again..
For someone with such a strong will to live, we thought to ourselves "She'll overcome this too"
But I guess, she was really tired and decided to move on.

Though I haven't really been very close to her, I still so feel sad abt this matter.
I shouldn't have been nonchalant/oblivious twds her sickness.
She really doted on my family and I.. She was always there to lend a helping hand, be it physically, mentally or financially. 
It is only regretful that my family and I aren't able to reciprocate her act of kindness.

Aunt Mart, I will never forget how you were always there for my family.
Thanks for showering the love.

RIP.